Self Acceptance

Self-esteem, How is yours!

 Many times, we use the words self-esteem and body image in the same breath, but they are not the same. While body image is related to how you feel about your body, self-esteem refers to how much you like yourself, the total package. How do you appreciate who you are and all of your individuality, including your personal skills and accomplishments. Self esteem can also be based on how you think other people look at you. If you catch someone watching you in public do you automatically judge yourself negative, when they could be admiring how you are dressed.  Maybe they could be thinking they know you or have you met you previously. But if all you can think about is internal negative judging of the why then your self-esteem might need a boost. In our society, overweight women get looked upon as anomalies and should control their weight. They are judged by how they look, act and what they do or don’t do. That is ignorance at its best, this is your life, embrace it. They have no idea of who are you anyway. Take a deep breath and ignore the naysayers because YOU GOT THIS!

Low self-esteem stems from a lack of confidence that is combined with a sense of feeling unworthy. People with low self-esteem rarely feel confident about themselves especially in how they look. This reassures them that they are unimportant and cannot achieve much. If your self-esteem is low, you will find ways to hide and not be part of the crowd for fear that someone may challenge you in conversation. I remember a running partner I had years ago who became a nurse and graduated high in her class. Instead of soaring with her career she never felt good enough at her job. She told me that the doctors where the smart ones and avoided any dealing with them other than what was needed. She felt beneath them. She could never grasp the talent, education and importance that she had towards her patients. It astounded me to hear her say these things. She was very threatened by the presence of her colleagues. I began to work with her doing positive visualization and mental skills training.  As we worked on this, she began to see her importance and eventually her confidence got better. Just realizing her worth in life made a big difference to her self-esteem. 

People with good or high self-esteem  have a positive attitude toward themselves and who they are, they are usually confident  and will recognize their strengths, value and worth. These are people who just have that confident look about them and people are attracted to them. That is not to say that everyone who has high self-esteem is just drowning is self-love 24/7, they are not, but these are people who know how to dust off the negative thoughts and get back in their game,  this is a mild setback for them

Why is good self-esteem important?

Good self-esteem is important for everyone because it helps you keep a positive outlook on life and makes you feel proud of the person you are, both inside and out. People with high self-esteem are happier and enjoy life no matter what they look like, how much they weigh or what their status in life is  They usually have better relationships with family and friends. One important thing is this, people with good self-esteem find it much easier to deal with mistakes in life or disappointments that come their way. And lastly, they keep going till they succeed. Good self-esteem allows you the power to believe in yourself, even when others do not, this is important, because this positive thought process allows you to plow through the setbacks in life. You will have courage to try new things and the confidence to make better and healthier choices about your life. you will have a new-found attitude towards yourself and will in turn help you to respect and feel worthy.

YOU can improve your self-esteem?

Of course, you can , I did. I grew with a very negative view of myself and that was not changing any time soon through elementary and high school.  I began to feel better about myself when I began to exercise, it gave me a reason to get up and do something good for myself. It did not happen instantly but over time my attitude changed, and I was not turning back. I had many bumps in the road, but I stayed the course, I was persistent. Research shows that exercise does began to make the mover feel better and it can boost self-esteem.  I love the way my body felt after every workout and that has not changed in over 30 years. Fitness has been saving grace for me.  Years ago, I also began talk therapy to help me with issues, that also helped me tremendously. But just finding a great friend to understand how you feel and talk about it openly can be a sense of relief. Sometimes expressing how you feel can actually be more helpful than keeping feelings to yourself. Talk with a close friend or relative who you trust and who can offer encouragement and support. It can also be comforting to talk with others that may be going through similar experiences. Remember, everyone has felt badly about themselves at some point in time!

Some other tips to boost self-esteem!

  • Keep a journal, just a paragraph or two a few times a week. I kept a journal for years and would go back and read it, that helped me to see how I felt encouraging  me to make positive changes.
  • Get involved in activities you love or maybe try something new, take the plunge and get daring.
  • Learn something new, find something you have wanted to do and begin to see your doing it without judging yourself. What are your talents?
  • Begin a new fitness program, where do I begin? Take time to walk around the block, put on some dance music and move your body.
  • Setting and reaching new goals: having something to look forward to can give you a sense of pride and help you work through different challenges throughout your life.
  • Inspire others, you may find it rewarding to share advice and offer encouragement to others.
  • Self-talk therapy: when you get those thoughts or feelings of unworthiness about yourself, take a deep breath and begin to tell yourself that is a lie, that is not who you are, and you have every right to feel good about yourself .

If you’re feeling very sad and discouraged most of the time and can’t seem to find ways to feel better about yourself, it’s important to contact your health care provider or counselor. They can help you to find ways to cope.



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