Self Acceptance,  Uncategorized

Why do we Sabotage ourselves?

QUESTION:
I have been eating healthy and feeling great about my food choices for a little over a month. I have not binged and have eaten foods that really made me feel better. Then after getting weighed, I realized I lost over 10 pounds and had a meltdown. I began slipping back to my old ways and it took a toll on me emotionally.  I realize that every time I begin to get healthy I get overwhelmed, scared and resort back to my old self. Is this normal and do others experience this? 

Susan

 ANSWER:

In the thirty plus years that I have been training, coaching, mentoring, counseling and running groups with women this question comes up in conversation a lot. Why do women set themselves up for failure and setbacks while on the road to getting healthy and feeling better? This issue is deep-rooted as well as complicated but let’s really look at it.

or many women who grew up as overweight children the issue of negative body image, body weight and self-esteem begins at a very early age. Dieting, being thin and pretty is the message that young girls hear over and over, eventually, that voice begins to control their lives. They are unconsciously told to shed those pounds or be doomed into a life of hating your body and yourself. Life can then become a daily regime of self-hatred and self-loathing while trying to achieve this utopia. Magazine articles promoting the latest diet, fitness regime to acquire six pack abs or even the latest Hollywood celebrity’s diet regime for weight loss can leave most overweight women with a doom or gloom future. This sets up an emotional roller coaster ride of negativity as this message now becomes reality. Having heard those messages over and over, eventually, this belief resonates within shaping how we look/think about ourselves. Growing up in a society that sends a message that any double-digit size is not acceptable is damaging! Most fitness DVD’s will mesmerize YOU promising long term success in a blink of an eye. I wonder how many of those fitness trainers really have a grasp on the emotional damage promising these simple easy weight loss routines that are short on long term success. Yet we continue to buy it hoping for a better life. These cerebral messages leave us with a sense that we no longer know what we need for our lives. Years and years of these messages and the race to another diet, hating food and not knowing or understanding what YOU need would leave anyone banging their heads against the wall for relief. While I understand that some need this kick start to get motivated, lasting motivation needs to come from within to achieve any long term success.  Looking to the world for answers, fighting with food, starvation and feeling like a failure is a set up for emptiness. All of those years of negative voices and feeling unworthy can leave anyone in a pile of pain.

So, as YOU begin on the road to getting healthy and fit to feel better YOU only how to sabotage and set yourself up for failure. Once this happens, one feels emotionally, physically and mentally drained and hence runs back to what is familiar. In my own life I have had to fight this battle early on as my health suffered for years. I never really addressed the emotions that were holding me back till I began to understand that my early years where filled with emotions that dragged me down. So, you can now get a glimpse that for some when the road to recovery begins it takes more than changing your eating habits.  It takes a change of heart and how we look at ourselves and feeling worthy. Yes, it will take time, love and patience from within Today, after many years of tears, groups, writing and listening I realize that unless we address the issue we will never totally come to a point of understanding ourselves and finding peace. YOU GOT THIS

Hugs, Debra

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